A Romance in Rio

(James Tissot, Un Dejeuner, 1868, Private Collection, Art Renewal.com)

Bob and I had just finished a lovely dinner in Scotland - Edinburgh to be exact.

The Irish stew had tempted both of us so we indulged ourselves, savoring every delicious bite.

Then Mother Nature decided to call - again.

(She can be a real nuisance, can't she?)

I excused myself and walked upstairs to the ladies room.

As I reached the landing, a middle-aged man looked at me and asked:

"Do you know if any of the shops are still open?"

I said, "We just left the Royal Mile and some of the stores are open there."

Then he looked at me and said, "You're an American girl, aren't you?"

WHAT HAD HE JUST CALLED ME?

My ears were still ringing with unbounded glee.

His melodious words floated through my head:

"American girl."

"GIRL!"

This man had just referred to me as a "girl" and I was ecstatic.

No one - and I mean absolutely no one - has called me a "girl" in - oh, I don't know - maybe 287 years.

Well, what can I say?

I fell madly, deeply, adoringly in love with this man.

Instantly.

I did not care if his personal hygeine routine consisted of one yearly bath taken in a teaspoon of water.

I did not care if he lived with a portly pet python named "Buster."

I did not care if he moonlighted on weekends as a serial killer.

I simply did not care.

My Mystery Man continued to chat:

"I have never been to Edinburgh. My elderly mother does not understand my interest in travel.

But I love to get out in the world and see new places. It broadens my mind."

As he spoke I thought to myself: "What a charming man! Perhaps we could run off to Rio together.

My brain began commenting on his musings to me:

"Guess what? This is my very first time in Edinburgh too!"

We have so much in common!!!

"Can you believe it? We both have elderly mothers! And they've traveled somewhere - definitely to the grocery store!"

We have so much in common!!!

"You can't be serious! I love to travel too! See, I'm right here in Edinburgh talking to you, sweet cheeks."

We have so much in common!

"Isn't this amazing? Travel broadens my mind too - and my flattened posterior which has logged way too many hours sitting on planes, trains and automobiles.

We have so much in common!

I gazed longingly into his azure blue eyes for what seemed like forever.

Then I came to my senses.

I wished him well and proceeded to the ladies room.

Minutes later, I returned to Bob and mentioned the encounter with my mystery man.

He didn't seem at all threatened by his potential competitor.

In fact, he smiled as I related the story to him.

I was immediately suspicious.

Perhaps Bob was thinking to himself:

"I just missed my chance to unload this woman. The guy probably would have taken her off my hands if I'd offered him enough money."

Then Bob glanced sweetly at me and said: "Dear, I'm happy that you had a nice conversation with your new friend."

I gazed longingly into his azure blue eyes for what seemed like forever.

I knew in that instant that Bob would always be my one and only mystery man.

And Rio?

Pleaseeeeee..........

It was Bob who took me to Venice, after all.

And I've always been a Venice kind of girl.